farewell again

Well all...I'm officially signing off from Bangkok. Where else could you take a bright pink taxi!? I'll meet you on the other side (of the world, that is).

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do do do do...

(aka...the theme from any respectable espionage movie)

The exciting plans I mentioned a couple nights ago were plans to discreetly follow some women we know to be trafficked and see what their nightly round looked like. My friend Bay agreed to accompany me on this 'mission.' We weren't too successful in following them anywhere. But we did observe a few details.

It was also interesting to feel a difference in being with a guy in that atmosphere. All the staff at NightLight are women, for fairly obvious reasons. I kinda liked being with a guy - I'm not sure why though - maybe because I felt more inconspicuous (he's also Thai...so instead of walking around with 3-4 white and Thai women, I was just walking around with 1 Thai-American guy.) That's probably it. But anyhow...if any of you people back home want to volunteer to walk around the 'streetwalking' areas of San Fran with me...I'll be needing some accompaniment ;)

Yesterday was pretty chill. I was lazy in the morning and stayed home and watched the movie story of Dorothy Day of the Catholic Worker movement, called Entertaining Angels. Which is really good. I've read her biography before and she's a really interesting women. She started a non-religous activist with an anger at the church for it's apatheticness towards social issues. Then she came to a point of emptiness and met some Catholics who weren't merely talking about caring for the poor - but were actually interacting with them and helping them. She went on to live her whole life sharing all she had with those in need and being a voice for those who have none. Inspiring and a reminder of what it means to follow Christ's words and example. And also a reminder that no one can set out in 'saving the world' and be successful. If that is their goal, they will always feel irrelevant and behind. But one can set out to follow Christ in their hearts and love people...and in so doing will be used exactly as God wants to. Not to 'save the world' but to be God's hands and feet to those you come in contact with.

Last night was my last night on street outreach. As I was walking the streets and sitting in a strip club I kept thinking of Kim's new favorite Bible verse,
2 Chronicles 7:14 "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray, seek my face and turn from their evil ways, then I will hear them from heaven, I will forgive them of their sins and I will heal their land."
There's nothing I can give to these women - but I can humble myself and pray. When confronted with this issue face to face here in Thailand, where it is so big and so out in the open, one is faced with a confrontation that demands an action. Although I'm not moving here to confront it, I plan to confront it none the less. It took me coming over here again to remind me of the immediacy of these issues and the huge population of this earth that is living in situations which are so far less then what God intended for his people and earth.

Well...I guess you've had enough of me editorializing...I only have about 24 hours left in Bangkok - hard to believe its been a month. If you're reading this - thanks. Thanks for enriching my life in so many ways.

mmmm....

This past weekend I had a lovely little holiday at Samet Island, which is southeast of Bangkok. It took about 3 hours by a slooow bus and then a little jump on the ferry boat and we were there. Beng accompanied me…she is one of the Thai staff at NightLight. And she speaks perfect English, so that’s very handy. I enjoyed her company and getting to know her a bit better. We left from NightLight around 2:30 Friday afternoon and got to the island after dark. Then the rest of the time was filled with beach and eating mostly. Not too much exciting to talk about.

Read some. Wrote some. Thought about what’s next. Got a little sunburned. Came extremely close to getting a new tattoo (so inexpensive!) Finally fit that massage in (again, so inexpensive…one hour for about $5.) One of my favorite activities was utilizing the swing in front of our room. Whoever thought of that was a genius. I definitely decided that having a swing in my backyard at home was a brilliant idea! There was also a cool fire show on the beach each night...Beng particularly loved it! It mostly excited me when they played this great cover of Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire by a punk band :)

And now I’m back in Bangkok. I have exciting plans tonight…I’ll fill you in more later, perhaps. And then just a few more days until disembarking. On my way from the island to Bangkok, I finally felt ready to come home.

commonalities

Today I spent another day at NightLight. I think I liked it because I wasn't 'doing' anything and I just got to chill and interact. We had street 'outreach' tonight, so we walked around the district and saw who we bumped into. We went to Nana Square to this one bar where I'd been before a couple of times. The women who works the cash register is the one I talked to the other day when she was doing her English lesson. Tonight she recognized me as soon as we walked in, which was cool, and we talked as much as we could and just sat there. I don't know her and she doesn't know me, but we were happy to be there together.

I noticed a tattoo on the shoulder of the girl who was out front waving people in. It looked like a bird, but I couldn't tell for sure (I wasn't wearing glasses.) On our way out I tapped her on the shoulder and pointed at her tattoo. It was of an eagle. Then I showed her mine. It was so cool to see the spark and feel a connection with someone else who has such a different life then me - but a small bit of body art in common. She was really excited and so was I.

Tonight was also cool because I felt more comfortable and more me. So that meant I smiled at alot more people. If I could catch a girls eye, then I would smile to her. And sometimes when they would smile back I would get to see the real girl, without the mask. It was good.

Tomorrow afternoon I'm off to the beach...yay!! I'm very excited for sand, clear waters, and some relaxation. I'll be sure and take pictures and return in a few days! So waa dee ka.

???**Where is Thailand**???

Found this graffitti yesterday and thought it was fantastic (also notice the details in the poster on bottom-left.) And I think it has some application to the monologue that I'm about to write....

I suppose I might as well just come out and say it...I won't be moving to Thailand...at least not in the forseable future. I know it may be a shock for some of you - because I came here so sure that this was where I was headed. But it's odd, because once I got here I didn't feel so sure. Aware of that, I searched and asked myself why. I remained open and sought to observe and experience what I came across in this city. And at every interaction it was the people and issues in America that stood out to me and called at my heart the most.

I don't feel at all silly for coming here. I see a definate purpose in it. It's released me from my own expectations that I need to go overseas. It's validified that one should really stop and listen to one's heart before going this direction or that in lifes decisions. It can't be my goal to set out and save the world - because I would fail utterably. But it is in my heart to work for change. It is in my heart (and my brain and my gut) to make my best attempt to honor Christ, along with all that that means. In coming here I feel like now I can finally be 'sent' to my own inner city - whether that be around SF or Vegas.

And now for the first time (at least since 9th grade) I am void of a "PLAN." And its kind of exciting. I don't know what comes next. I don't have an expectation. I don't know what to look for. But I think that's a good spot - because I'll be looking...as I move along in this little world.

Where is Thailand? It's still here. That place in my heart is still here. But for now Thailand might be San Francisco, or Vegas; it might be being a nurse, or an artist, or an educator. The possibilities are endless - but as I walk, I'm sure I'll get there - as in fact I'm already there.

"Hello so much"

...what I overheard someone say as they answered their cell phone. Fabulous.

In the past couple of days I've taken it kinda easy. I've eaten lots of good food (and drank...yay chah yen in a bag!) and finished all of the necessary shopping errands, yipee! I've played with my friend Bay as he's taken me to some spots in the city and I've explored around some myself.
I hadn't really thought about it, but my experience in Thailand this time as compared to last time (well is different in a whole bunch of ways) but the fact that I've just been in a fast-paced city effects things. People aren't as friendly and they don't have time to sit around and talk with you (or in my case, try to understand my Thai speaking.) Last time I was in Thailand, I spent quite a bit of time in the villages and smaller towns. There people were so excited to meet me and were very eager to talk and sit together. Think of the way people interact in New York or SF in comparison to oh...Clovis or Appleton.

Even though everyone is really busy in this city, they still take time out to burn incense, etc. at shrines. And shrines are everywhere! I was sitting at the park and noticed one tucked underneth the table (also at the park, not only are there turtles in the water, there's also these huge 4 foot lizards - i think they're called Monitor Lizards), every building has one out front and you see business people at lunch time going to burn incense. The included picture is of an old wrecked shrine I found amongst some ravaged and graffittied buildings today.

Another peculiar thing about this city is its combination of worlds. On one hand, sometimes it seems like all you see is well dressed people seemingly going from place to place and maybe buying a thing or two. This city has so many huge shopping complexes. But on the other hand, you see little slums tucked away. You see buildings stopped in construction and people just setting up camp to live there. One minute you might be in a department store (or hospital) with marble floors - and the next you might be in a market or restaurant with dirt and construction rubble on the floor.