Here’s something I began to write last Saturday night…settle in for this one, because it’s a convergence of a few thoughts – I hope you’ll be able to gather some of them…
I was in Pasadena tonight (last weekend)...up in the hills. I was at something very fimilar to me…a square dance (technically, a Contra dance) and during the break I stepped outside to cool off. While taking in the wonderfully yummy smelling air (of woods and a tinge of rain) and enjoying the dark, quiet night...I realized that this was a completely foreign activity that my neighbors would never even dream of much less experience.
Let me back-track. Since moving to LA things have been quite different in my life. Lately I've been wrestling with the tension of doing as my neighbors do or doing as I've always done. Not that there's anything wrong with what I've always done...but I've entered into this neighborhood with the intent of being involved with the people here. And for involvement to happen there needs to be mutuality.
So I guess what I'm trying to do is re-shift parts of my life. Some people would think this odd. Why not just go on in what I know? Why move from the white-majority, isolated suburbia that I know to the unknown immigrant, crowded city here? Why make art with kids instead of attend a gallery opening? Why hang around prostitutes instead of hipsters? I’ve had to remind myself of my reasons for sticking with the unfamiliar. I want to be involved here. And that will take me becoming more familiar with those things that are familiar to my neighbors here. Thus the tension felt on my part - and a bit of loneliness too.
Back to the square dance. It’s a familiar activity to me…and definitely NOT a familiar activity to my neighbors. I was utterly enjoying myself. And that moment during the break when I paused- and felt the joy in my body from moving, the connectedness to community from interacting with others, the solace of a quiet moonlit night, and the pleasure of the smelling clean air - part of my heart became saddened...because I know how infrequent (if ever) my neighbors get to enjoy something like this. The ability to release all thoughts and be pleased on so many different levels is such a gift.
People in my neighborhood are overburdened by a myriad number of things. Square dancing is a luxury. A simple evening that I would have once taken for granted – I’m now looking at in an entirely different way. First of all, it’s a luxury to be able to move and enjoy your body. When working long hours of back-breaking work or when dealing with untreated medical issues – it’s impossible to enjoy your body like this. Secondly, community interaction isn’t a given. People in the inner city, although crowded amongst many people, can be the most isolated from each other. And thirdly, enjoying quiet and nature is a luxury unknown to someone enclosed within the invisible walls that border a ghetto.
And so…while I’m trying to learn the balance between integration and personal well-being – I’m thankful for the amplification of joys that I’m lucky enough to experience. When I first moved to the city I found life there. And I guess that’s why I’m still here…I find life in the city, I find life doing art with kids, I find life hanging around prostitutes.
My world is/was/will be so different then the world of my neighbors. I may be living here with my neighbors and building relationships and learning alot. But when it comes down to it, I don't know what it's like to deal with the things they've dealt with. Things like fleeing a home country never to return, being separated from family, working minimum wage (or worse) jobs, etc, etc. And in contrast - they couldn't even imagine why a 28 year old is single with no children. They couldn't imagine square dancing. But I hope, sometime, that in our intermingling we can build upon each others joys and experiences. Perhaps I’ll never get my neighbors square dancing (that would be a sight!) but I hope I can be an encouragement for experiencing those joys that square dancing brings me.
…and [you] are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy…1peter1:8
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment