More info on the prostitution issue...

I got a couple emails with more specific questions about the women at the center and the prostitution situation in general here...so I thought I'd address some more specifics about it here. Following are some of the questions asked and I'll try and address those and some other things-
Questions...
One thing I would like to know is when you talk to these women, how did they get into the prostitution business and how anxious are they to get out. Do they not make more money doing that that a reqular job? Are they on drugs? Do they have children? If they do and they are mixed race, what happens to them?
Thoughts...(keep in mind I'm not an expert yet)
There are all types of different situations and different types of involvement in the prostitution industry. There's bar girls who cater to men and can accept propositions but don't have to. There's dancers who do go with the men, some only a couple a week, others nightly, still others multiple men a night. And there's others who work the showbars which are really degrading and dangerous situations - those seem to be the women in the worst cases. Then there's also girls who work freelance and others have pimps. There's differing reasons for being there...some consented, others were tricked...some are from the city, others from far away villages...some have kids, others are really young...some have gambling problems, others just send money home to parents. I feel like there are so many different situations that its hard to just hightlight any one situation alone. You've got the girl who has basically been 'trafficked' from a rural village, who can be put in really bad situations, and she's not even seeing money. Then you've got other girls who enter it knowingly - because there's no other job options for women. Even people who have graduated from university here can't find decent work. A girls basic income in the bar is around 10,000baht per month, which is equivilant to $250. I think a job working in a
department store or something might pay half of that. There's a huge emphasis here for daughters to support their parents. And in villages, where income can't really be generated...going into the city is the only option. Usually village girls come either by being tricked by a family member/family acquaintance or by knowing somebody else who brings them in.
Nearly anyone you talk to will say they want out. But for one reason or another they feel they have to stay. Some situations they would have some sort of a 'debt' to work off before they'd be 'free' to go. Another really common situation is that their husband has left them and they have kids and parents to support. No woman wants to be sexually exploited. You see them and look into their eyes and they look so sad - only when they have a mask on in front of a man do they smile and laugh (and even many you see with men look sad.) Many girls think that some foreign man will fall in love with them and carry them away on a white horse. Its ironic that the white man is found to be desirable, when it's the white man that has so exploited them.
Alcohol abuse is really common. Other drugs are used also, but alcohol is the most common. Its used to help seperate themselves while working. Its also used to help loosen them up, as Thai women are very shy and reserved - to dance in front of a man, and half naked is extremely shameful to them.
The biggest form of 'birth control' used here is abortion. I think its extremely uncommon for a prostitute to have a baby (unless maybe its from her boyfriend/husband.) Abortions are very common. I don't know anything about prostitutes having mixed children. But in general, half Asian/half white is seen as very beautiful now here.
I've been thinking about Thailand and where I fit in all of this. I'm really not sure that this is where God's calling me to stay. But I'm trying to experience what I can while I'm here right now, and I've been asking myself, "What could I do in Thailand that a Thai person couldn't do?" and I've also been considering all of the unique things I have going for me in San Francisco. And there's also definately prostitution issues there in many different facets ...drug/young/gay/transvestite/trafficked. In Thailand though it just seems so enormous of an issue...but again is inter-related with alot of different issues. For example, prostitution is said to generate something like 60% of Thailands budget, even though it's "illegal."
On a lighter side....
I had a great weekend. I spent Friday night and the second half of Saturday with my friend, Bay, who lives here. Very good to hang out with him and see his life and friends here, and get a different view of Bangkok. I also got some very cool tshirts from the market. Then today I met up with a friend of a friend, who lives here and is originally from Austrailia. She goes to this small church here in Bangkok which is Thai/English mix. I really loved being at the church, it was very refreshing. I loved the mix of people and they were very into being the church outside of the church building.
I spent the second half of today hanging out with the Dieselbergs, which are a really fun family to hang out with. I finally got to cook something...(kinda)...I made chocolate chip cookies with Chandler and Kristina. It was fun and they're oh so yummy.
Sorry I haven't been taking any really interesting pictures. I want to feel as little like a tourist as possible. However, I am hoping to get out on a couple of out-of-Bangkok adventures in the next couple weeks...so those should bring some interesting shots...and possibly I can get Bay out on a photo extravaganza day...he's an awesome photographer...we checked out a show he's part of on Friday night, it was really cool, and the proceeds are all going to children in a village ravaged by the tsunami...check out the website - www.seedart.org
peace - out!

health and money

So week # 2 has now passed! Yikes...that's half way already! So far I've mostly been in one place, but that is okay..because its let me spend time with some incredible women and see the work that's going on in dealing with prostitution issues. The women who are working at NightLight are so dear and fabulous. It's exciting to see lives turning towards the upside.
The last few days I've been hard at work (mostly) doing stuff around NightLight. There was a grant due today which we got off just in time. And there was the health survey. It went through alot of processing and reminded me of all the nitty-gritty details that public health surveys scrutinize over. But we went out a number of times to the bar areas and met with girls. I got to sit around and observe mostly. I did finally get to have some conversations and try out my Thai while girls tried out their English on me. It was fun to interact with the women in bars in that way, it made them seem very normal to me. The picture I'm including is of an infamous little area called Nana Plaza which houses over 50 bars/strip clubs/prostitution venues. The front areas are more bars and then behind them sit go-go clubs and behind them sit show bars.

As we went there in the afternoon it was a pretty laid back atmosphere, but as the evening started we watched the girls coming into work and the crowds starting. It's interesting, this huge shrine sits in the front corner of the plaza and all the girls bring things to it and light incense and stuff as they come into work...and also when we were in an upstairs show bar, they had a little shrine and as the girls exited the dance floor they stopped and did a little bow towards the shrine.

The grant was frustrating to me because it really enmeshes you with the political process and how our world is organized...and its so annoying! The way you have to present and sell yourself to organizations that can fund you. How you have to put down on paper so committees can go over and scrutinize it, your document...instead of just interviewing the organization and really seeing what's going on. The way that people who make the major decisions of how this world runs are so removed from what's actually happening in the real world. Hmmm...reality of reality - rah!

oh happy day

So I feel mostly better today, yipeee! Good thing too, because I had a meeting in the morning with this guy from UNAID to ask questions about the grant I've been working on. It was very informative and helped me alot in finishing up the grant...I think it's nearly done! It was also interesting going into the meeting, because first you have to find the building, then you have to give your ID before entering, then you have to sign another thing on the floor when you exit the elevator and then a guard lets you in through the door! Lots of steps!
Also, there's a guy here for the week working on a health survey of the prostitutes. Today we finished up the survey we will be taking around to the bars for the next three days. The focus group took quite some time, as the Thai women gave feedback regarding whether questions were culturally acceptable and would get an honest answer. A really intersting process to sit through.
So the next couple days I'll probably be quite busy as we'll be out late getting the health survey done. I wish I could speak more Thai!!!

shout-out to my peeps!!

I can't deny it...I miss San Francisco. I think and think about Thailand, and come here, and now San Francisco is in my thoughts, go figure. I guess we all like the familiar. But...San Francisco is pretty great!
AND guess what...walking along the streets of Bangkok I passed two people and they were speaking in English and I heard them say something about the Bushman down at Fisherman's Wharf! How great is that! Our own Mr.Bushman being talked about on the street's of Bangkok! It's funny how doing the same crazy thing for such a long time will eventually gain you world-wide fame!
I should've stopped them and talked to them. But you know what...it doesn't really seem like white people are at all overly friendly to each other here. Maybe it's because they don't just want to clump together, or maybe it's because you don't know if they'll speak english or some other language....anyways...I'm fully guilty of not sticking my neck out enough. It's hard in a foreign culture because you can't communicate and you don't know how people are going to respond...I don't want to seem rude...but I also don't want to miss out on good stuff - so I should really just stick my neck out there a little bit more :)

katchup

Today I've been sick, and that's about all I have to report. I'll be fine, I'm mostly feeling better - I just had a headache and I threw up once. But...I didn't have a chance to put up an update for last Thur/Fri, and I wanted to, so now I'm backtracking.
Thursday was another outreach night. There's been alot of foreign groups coming through to see NightLight and such...so on Thursday night there was like 20 people to go out. I didn't just want to wander around with them, so I decided to post in a Starbucks which had an upstairs corner view of things...just to be able to observe. I would rather observe just sitting outside somewhere, but things are a little different here. There are so many people around, and as a foriegner I feel like I'm always watched - it's kinda impossible to be discreet. All along the sidewalks are street vendors either selling tourist stuff or food things. And the street set-up here kinda makes me feel in continual chaos...I don't know how anyone ever finds their way around!
But anyways, so I sat and watched and prayed. A quote kept coming to my head from The Brothers Karamazov (at least I think...I'm just getting this from memory) "Beauty is mysterious. God and the devil are fighting there and the battlefield is the heart of man." True beauty comes from God - but there are alot of attractive things out there in which true beauty has been twisted just a bit...they can appear beautiful, but they're really not. It's not beauty when hurt, selfishness, and destruction is involved. Only in God are things made beautiful and whole. I think of my 'kingdom come' tattoo(and it's a good reminder for me)...and that's why I got it...so many things in this world seem hopeless, we live in a way that is less then what it should be...but I have a God that fills me with hope and love...and one day his kingdom will come...the hurts of this world will disappear...and we will be whole.

Well- tomorrow there's a guy here who is doing a health survey of prostitutes...I'm really excited about that, he'll be here for the week. And I have to finish that grant (not quite as excited...but will be when it's done!)

a day of rest

So...I confess...I was just a normal American today. I didn't try to stretch myself to experience culture. First I walked to the park - which is something I would normally do, but it was a little interesting here. On my way I crossed a parade of vintage American cars from the 40's-70's...that was interesting seeing on a Thai street. Following the parade was a Thai ambulance, the first I've seen out on the streets. They're connected to particular hospitals here, not a 9-1-1 service.
At the park I found they had a skatepark. I wish I had my skateboard, that would be fun interaction! I highly doubt any Thai girls skateboard! At the park I sat, thought, and did art. It was good to be quiet. In the midst of sitting there, I looked out over the pond, and noticed that turtles were swimming in it. No ducks...just turtles.
I then watched a movie at the mall. And then, if you can imagine, I found a knitting supply store! How great is that...I hadn't brought knitting supplies with me but I really miss it, so I got something to knit. I then retreated to Starbucks (yes, they're here too, and they look exactly the same, down to the light fixtures!)
All in all, it was a good day of rest, and I feel ready again to get out into the (Thai) city.

i heart chah yen

After being here for nearly 5 days, yesterday I had my first Thai iced tea! As much as I love it, I don't know what took me so long...but it was sooooo delicious. I also got fresh cut pinapple...the tea and fruit only costing fifty cents! Yippee Thai exchange rate.
I began working on a grant for the organization to submit to the Embassy for $$. Lots of fun! I've never written a grant before, but I feel like I know a bit about it from being around different non-profits and such. I think it's going well. We'll see, it's due next week.

I'm going out again on tonight to talk to the women out around the bars. Which reminds me...if you want to check out the website for the organization I'm at right now, it's www.nightlightbangkok.com

Luxuries and Lust

Tuesday night was my first night going out to the streets and meeting prostitues (along with leaders from NightLight). Already since being here I've noticed some differences in prostitution from when I was here in 98'(part of it is I'm in a different area of the city.) All over the place you see older white-skinned men walking around with pretty, young, Asian women. And tonight I saw a ton of that. We were having dinner in an open-aired place around 8:30pm and I saw so many of those couples either pass-by or come down and sit to eat. What appals me is they all do this so unashamedly and in such mass numbers! It made me feel ashamed and embarrased to have white skin. We come to Thailand and indulge ourselves in luxuries that nationals could never afford and indulge our lust with no shame.
Our night out had three segments: meeting with the trafficked Russian women, walking through the Middle-Eastern district, and sitting in a bar.
The Russian women were just sitting at a table outside a coffe shop. I would've never known they were prostitues. I wonder what they're routines look like. They were very friendly. We wonder about the trafficking scheme because they seem to have more freedom then stereotypical trafficked cases.
Then we walked around the Middle-Eastern district looking for more Russian women. Mostly all we saw was Arabic-men. All of the shops had signs in Arabic...you would never have guessed you were in Thailand. We walked around the lobby of a hotel. It was so weird. There were so many men; lounging at couches, sitting around tables. Everyone was watching us. We saw one Russian women and a few Thais, but no one they knew yet.
Then we walked the streets lined with bars. These weren't the go-go bars I'd previously seen in Thailand. These were just normal bars/pub sort of places. Places that without the flock of prostitutes in them, would've seemed like any normal ol' hangout spot. The bar we went down and sat in even had a few pool tables at the back. However the odd thing is, there's about 20 white men and over 40 Asian females. Imagine a normal college bar and the flirting that goes on there. One guy gets lucky and has a girl completely interested in him and throwing herself on him. Well...multiply that to being every single guy in the bar and you begin to get the picture of this. And all in hopes that the guy will pick her out and take her back to his hotel room where she'll get paid.
I can't imagine how much the girls have to push their souls away in order to act like this with the men. It's sad. It's a very dispairing situation. I think I'm not so shocked by seeing all of it though, because I have other things to compare it to, like the inner-cities.
We've been fooled. We don't know what love is. We look for it in all the wrong places.

"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." 1John 4:9-12

a day at NightLight

Today I got to spend my first day with the women at NightLight. I was of course a little shy at first. Annie introduced me and then had other business to attend to and I was left just sitting there feeling silly. Not knowing whether any of the women spoke any English and not feeling competent enough to try out Thai. So I busied myself with observing and beading. Then someone came to give an English lesson. This helped me out incredibly because I got to mingle with the women, see who spoke English, and work on my Thai all at the same time! After that I felt much more comfortable and began working by the side of one of the women. She was really nice and knew quite a bit of English and I got to practice some of my Thai and ask questions about more.

I didn’t really have expectations of what NightLight was going to be like. (For those who don’t know what NightLight is…they reach out to women in the bars and offer them an alternative. They offer them a job with a livable wage, making jewelry, as well as other education and support.) But the women there seemed much more cheery and normal then I expected. Perhaps because I’m such an outsider, I haven’t seen the pains of the women. As I looked at each women I could only imagine what lie in their past. I’m filled with hope for their futures.

The sobering thing is, though this room was filled with 10 women who were making it out of prostitution…there’s thousands more. There’s a bar/club not 100 yards away that had 5 girls sitting outside dressed like schoolgirls waiting for their next clients…and Bangkok is filled with hundreds more of these clubs. While talking to Annie the other day about the whole prostitution issue, I realized that it’s just like the myriad of other looming social issues. It’s just like the kid from Oakland getting pulled into dealing. It’s just like the transient farm worker not earning a living wage. It’s just like people starving all over the world. It’s just like children going blind for want of medical care. So many factors. So many structuralized patterns.

Where does one start in the fight against these issues? The only answer that seems reasonable is: one person at a time. Whether I win or lose is beside the point…it’s in the fighting that matters. It’s about love. I would rather die miserable, knowing I had loved – then live contented, knowing I could’ve loved more. The cool thing is though…loving never leaves you miserable, it leaves you with joy.

On the street where I live

Somebody said they wanted to know about where I'm staying. Just so you have a mental picture of what I'm coming home to everyday...here are some pictures.
I'm staying with the Dieselberg's. A missionary family who have been in Bangkok for 11 years. They have 4 kids ranging in age from 17 to 8. They live in a section of Bangkok that's pretty nice, a lot of expat's and such live in the area. I have a nice little room with an air conditioner. You can hear birds and such through the window...which is peculiar, but not, to me....because it is Thailand but it's also a huge city - so, go figure. You can walk down to the end of the street and get a taxi or sahmlor(3-wheeled truck) in about 2 seconds. It takes just a couple minutes ride on a sahmlor to get to the skytrain station (kinda like our BART.) And...that's all I'm gonna say :)

"I'm leaving on a jet-plane..."

THE LAST NIGHT/ JAN 11th

The event: dinner with 'my people' (aka: housemates)
What I ate: rotolle pasta with meat sauce, green salad with ranch, and yummy garlic bread
Unexpected frivolities: doing the airplane with Loni


AND FINALLY...dun dun dun....0 DAYS LEFT!!!!

I did finish my packing but as I had been talking about for a week, didn't get those emails signed out. By the time my flight came, I was just ready for it to be over with. I realized while standing in line at the airport that this is my first travel adventure that I've taken by myself. It was a strange feeling- and to the surprise of many of you (since for some strange reason you think I'm uber-corageous) -I was a little scared.
About 30 minutes before my flight boarded I had this rush of fear and self doubt. I journaled "I feel like I'm going to show up for a formal ball dressed instead for a costume party."
A few hours into the plane ride all of those doubts left me. Oddly enough my redemption came through the cute trays of food we were bought for a meal. I was flying with an Asian airline so of course the crew, most of the people flying, and the food was Asian too. The tray of food was the cutest thing, a lime green color with a irredescenty-colored placemat. Various sizes of lime green holding containers with fruit, rice and chicken, cake, bread, and salad, and the daintiest little glass cup. All of my cultural curiosities and excitement came rushing back to me and I was ready to plunge into what may come rather then reverting inward. YAY asian airplane food trays!

FINALLY ARRIVED/ JAN 14th...very early in the morning

After about 18 hours of flying the torture was over. (Although I must report the torture wasn't as bad as previous flights - although unavoidable- as I was better prepared...and had a nifty little DVD player.) I looked out the dark window as we landed and couldn't believe the darkness I was seeing out of it was Thailand. I was so excited to be greeted by that wall of heat when I exited the airplane...but unfortunately there was too much air conditioning. Jeff greeted me at the airport and reported that as a special greeting for me he had parked the car right above the sewer grating...so when we exited the air conditioning and I met the fabulous heat, I was also greeted by an awful stench....welcome to Thailand.
I quickly went to sleep for quite a while, then woke up for a hang out day at the house...then persevered through until my 10pm (thai time...add 15 hours to California time) bedtime. And lucky me, som tum (one of my favorite Thai dishes...aka: papaya salad) was made for dinner.

So....in closing...I'm safe and sound in BKK...I love you all...more adventures to follow....

A fond farewell

I think I'm the luckiest person ever! I've been so overwhelmed by the love of friends, coworkers, family, and roomates. I've always known I'm loved, but there's nothing like going away that really brings out mutual fondnesses. I'm truely grateful, so grateful, for all the people in my life who love and care for me.
Last night some work friends and other friends met me out for fabulous food, sangria, and karaoke! Sad to say none of us made it to the karaoke stage due to misfortune from the 'karaoke god' of the evening (aka: guy in charge of the stage list.) But...much fun was had by all.
Today I'm FINALLY getting around to actually placing something into my suitcase! Kim says I should just take a backpack and toothbrush, but somehow I'm just not that carefree of a girl :)

1 day and counting! eek!

No more work!!!

Monday was my last day of work for more than a month!! Wuu Hoo!!! It was a busy day with only a few hours of sleep...but we did transport some charachters which reminded me of things I like about my job:)

Thank goodness I didn't have to work today! Ah, it was such a relief. Just one 24 hour shift to go and then I'm off for a month!
My mom's visiting on her way through to see my Grandpa. She got here this afternoon and tonight we went to see The Chronicles of Narnia. There are many things that I could say about the movie, but rather it's a comment I heard while exiting the theater that has me thinking the most. I heard the couple behind me speculating about the different charachters in the movie and their religous counterpart and then came the comment, "Yeah I read the books when I was young. When you're young you don't make the correlations. You don't realize what blatant propaganda it is from the religous right."
My first intstinct when I heard that said was the reminder of "oh yeah, I live in San Francisco." It's a city where PC reigns and a 'come as you are,' all accepting vibe exudes - however, I have never been anywhere else where Christianity is so horrified and mocked. There seems to be this notion that pigeon-holes all of Christianity into everything that is hated about the religous right...I hate that!
Secondly, view the making of The Chronicles of Narnia into a movie as you may - propaganda or not. But don't stab the thing for propaganda to make yourself feel cultured when you don't know any of it's background and when you blindly accept so many other lies that movies and media hold. The Chronicles of Narnia happened to be written by a genius who was in no way part of the stereotyped fundamentalist religous right. And if anyone knew anything about it, they would know that Lewis wrote them as children's stories for his own dear ones - the story wasn't intially created to be published. It was created to cultivate imagination and ends up showing some hard things in a way a child might be able to comprehend as well as creating noble hero/heroines worthy of looking up to.
So there's my short rant. I think though that hearing that comment only reinforces something I was thinking of in the movie and feel pushed toward myself. Christianity doesn't need to be sold...it needs to be lived. Can I hear an 'Amen!'

4 days and counting :)